The Poison Apple

Apple, you have forsaken me!!!

I wish to regale you with a story.
A cautionary tale of Trust and Betrayal.
A story of international intrigue and theft.
A story of Love lost.
I call this tale,

The Poison Apple…

Our saga begins innocently enough, Angryshortguy tries to update his beloved iPad only to find that he is unable to log in!
“What’s this?” He exclaims, “Must be a mistake.”
But alas, it is no mistake.
For you see, an evil empire has stolen his identity, his iTunes login.
A hacker from China has kidnapped his iTunes login ID and has emptied it of all its’ life (my credits were stolen to purchase Chinese apps).
A call is sent out to his Champion, Apple iTunes Support.
His Champion is busy. About 45 minutes busy as our victim waits and worries.
But not to worry, not to worry. Our Champion, iTunes support, is here! And with a flurry of activity and conferring with her fellow Champion, the torch is passed and our new Champion (iTunes support dude) vanquishes the evil agent of China and restores our hapless victim’s account and password.

Some sense of normalcy is restored.

But the story doesn’t end there. It is only the beginning.
For you see, our helpless victim is once again victimized.
This time it is his Champion who turns on him and strikes a mortal blow to his long standing customer loyalty!!!

You see, there will be no return of the lost $62.00 in iTunes Credit. Not even the use of apps purchased with said credits.

What’s done is done. Our victim has been raped twice in one day. He won’t be sitting for a while…

But our Champion is moved by the pleas and apparent knowledge of our victim. He promises to alert the king (manager) and will send for him post-haste!

Still waiting for that 24 hour call back two days later.

Messengers are dispatched to deliver requests for leniency and understanding.
One to support, one to the Emporer, the fabled and mythical Steven of Jobs.
Support responds within hours!
Can it be that our poor victim is finally reaching an end to his ordeal?
Alas, no.
His response follows:

Regrettably, I won’t be able to refund this purchase for you. The iTunes Store Terms of Service states that Apple is not responsible for losses arising out of the unauthorized use of your account. Please see the Terms of Service.

OHHHHHH Cruel Fate!!! Oh poison Apple! Ohhhh lazy and extremely irritating automated responses!!!

Oh Crap.

The moral of the story?

When a company get’s so big for it’s britches that it can’t throw a bone to a loyal customer, it’s time to find a new company to do business with.

Windows 7 and Android are looking pretty good lately…

So much stupidity, so little time.

Published in: on April 30, 2010 at 5:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Middle Age crisis

Well, here I am, approaching 46.
Knees are shot.
Shoulders and back are a wreck.
Vertigo and tinnitus plague me.
And I’ve just gotten my hair cut only to expose the top of my dome as a thinning, pasty white abomination!
So, what’s a guy to do when middle age smacks him on the side of his head with a sack of marbles?
Only one of two possibilities.
Option one:
Have an affair with a floozy half my age.
Not gonna happen.
Love my wife, love my family, love my cozy home and paycheck…
Option two:
Buy a ton and a half of spitfire red American steel and deal with it.
I opted for option two and bought a 2010 Ford Mustang.
Might not be as fun to ride as a 23 year old blonde, but it sure as hell costs a lot less!

Don’t judge me, only I may judge on this site.

So much stupidity, so little time.

Published in: on April 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm  Comments (1)  

My calling…

I didn’t expect or envision this blog to be a full blown anti-blog of other posts and news articles, but there it is.

I seem to be attacking more and more articles than I’d like, but it’s kind of difficult not to.  What with all of the buffoons and morons out there posting painfully stupid and contradictorily ramblings that remind me of an annoying child screaming:


Seriously, these people are really pissing me off.

Case in point.
A recent post on CIO Insight by Tony Kontzer illustrated my point more than any other.

Here’s the link:

Tony tries to trash the iPad in a way that trashes his writing ability.

For instance, he has issue with Apple using the term ‘intimate’ when describing the iPad experience.

In his words, “Under no circumstances should the word “intimate” be used to describe any technological device. How intimate can a pile of metal and plastic and circuitry possibly be?”


Then why would you use the words, ‘seductive’ and ‘desire’ in your article when describing the iPad?

It is an intimate experience. One on one. Tactile. Personal.
Seems to me that the term intimate fits just fine.

And enough of the multi-tasking bashing.  If you paid attention to the latest news, you’d have noticed that the multi-tasking function is coming in a few months.  A multi-tasking that will blow away the current way multi-tasking is handled.
And nothing pisses me off more than when some moron buys a new piece of technology, knowing full well which bells and whistles it contains, and complains about it after the fact.

Last point.
This guy actually bitched about the pricing.
Nothing, I mean NOTHING, does what the iPad does or will do.

I’m not a writer.
Nobody pays me to write my blog.
It’s a hobby, therapy, good clean fun.

So when a hack is paid to spew this tripe across the internet, I take offense.
The news media has become an unprofessional, amateurish,  infantile, den of fools.
Put some effort into your craft and have some dignity in your profession!

So much stupidity, so little time.


Published in: on April 14, 2010 at 3:33 pm  Comments (1)  

i wish this were easier…

Well, with every new site comes a learning curve.
I have to say, blogging on a Crackberry is not an intuitive task.
Its taken me two hours to find, download, install, and figure out how to update my blog with a photo.
Kinda takes the fun out of the whole experience.
Hope it worked this time…

So much stupidity, so little time.

Published in: on April 12, 2010 at 2:12 pm  Leave a Comment  

The problem with Kindle and iPad books

I’m sad.
Sad that I can’t get behind the whole ebook thing.
I was soooooooo looking forward to opening up my iPad, finding a book or magazine, and poof!
There it is.
But instead of joy, there’s a sense of loss. I’m sad.
This whole ebook thing could be huge! Much bigger than what even the boys at apple and the publishers can imagine.
But fellas, charging full price for an electronic copy of a book?
A book I can’t share, take with me to the beach (no way I’m leaving my iPad when I hit the waves), or sell in a garage sale years later?
No thanks.
But there is a solution.
It’s rather simple, but quite genius in it’s simplicity.
Ready? Here it is.

Purchase an iBook, get the physical book for $5.00.

See? Simple.
You and I get the best of both worlds (digital and paper), as well as something rarely seen in retail.
And Apple, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the rest, entice customers into purchasing two copies of the same book.
What could be simpler?

So much stupidity, so little time.

Published in: on April 11, 2010 at 7:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

Of iPads and mice

I read an article the other day that made me pause, take a deep breath, and count to ten.
That’s just something I do to find my calm again after witnessing the truly lowest of denominators in terms of intelligence.
You see, the article was discussing the multitude of accessories out (or coming out) for the new Apple iPad.
The article appeared to be another harmless regurgitation of a dozen similar ‘articles’.
That is, until, the author of this poor excuse for an original thought questioned the lack of a Bluetooth mouse for the iPad.
You see, I’m of the opinion (and be certain that my opinion is the only one that matters) that a bluetooth keyboard is a ridiculous accessory. Isn’t the whole point of a tablet device to unburden it’s owner from carrying around more crap?
I mean, if you want a keyboard, get a damn laptop!
But to actually question the absence of an iPad compatible mouse on the market?
I made the mistake of reading other complaints regarding the lack of a mouse on a TOUCH pad device, and lost it.
I finally calmed down when it dawned on me that these idiots couldn’t possibly own an iPad.
Who in their right mind would drop $500 – $700 on something that was far above their ability to understand or use?
These were just bloggers and ‘journalists’ (that’s a stretch) screaming for attention.
“MOM! Look at me!!! Look what I can do!!!”

So much stupidity, so little time.

Published in: on April 10, 2010 at 4:00 pm  Leave a Comment